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I’m Extremely Competitive — Here’s How I Keep It from Becoming a Problem

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I’m aggressive, and I hate to lose. Once I really feel like somebody goes to be higher than me at one thing, it flips a swap someplace deep within me and places me into overdrive.

This is not restricted to the work I do at FutureFund, my free fundraising platform for Ok-12 college teams. I wish to be the most effective athlete, coach, household man and software program engineer that I will be. And for essentially the most half, this works. It motivates me to attempt for excellence and maintain difficult myself as a substitute of changing into too snug and stagnating.

However the identical tendency that drives me to excel at these items can generally turn into counterproductive. My dislike of shedding is definitely so sturdy that I usually hate taking part in board video games. As you possibly can think about, that may actually put a damper on household sport evening if I do not maintain it in verify.

A number of folks in tech are like this as a result of it is a aggressive panorama. Possibly it is the identical for you: something you do, you must do 100% — and since you put 100% of your self into one thing, it is nearly not possible on your success or failure to not really feel like a mirrored image of who you might be. Like me, you could have a model, and that model is: whenever you do one thing, you’ll succeed.

The trick is to maintain your sense of competitors wholesome in order that it serves your work and private objectives as a substitute of getting in your approach. Here is how I do it — and how one can, too.

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The best way you reply to competitors is a alternative

Not everybody responds to competitors in the identical approach. Folks are inclined to fall into one in every of two teams once they witness another person succeeding at a aim they’ve for themselves.

The primary group tries to sabotage the success they see in others. They ask how they’ll shift their competitors’s repute in order that it is unfavorable. That is extra generally accepted than you may assume. We are inclined to look down on manufacturers who run apparent smear campaigns in opposition to their rivals, however a lot of firms get away with writing press releases that favorably evaluate their services or products to these of their greatest rivals.

The second group tries to enhance themselves to allow them to match and surpass the success they see others experiencing. They turn into motivated to higher themselves as a substitute of casting aspersions on their rivals. This method can really feel like much more work, however I’ve discovered that it is also incessantly way more rewarding.

The primary group’s method may work at first — however there are apparent dangers. Not solely can this blow again on you in the event you’re too heavy-handed, however it may additionally provoke your rivals and encourage them to work tougher in opposition to you than they usually would have. However the greatest drawback is that specializing in others would not do something to enhance your skills.

The second group’s method requires you to be unflinchingly sincere with your self and your crew about your strengths and weaknesses, which will be difficult at first. Nevertheless it additionally pays dividends. You be taught the place to speculate your effort and time for max features. You turn into extra environment friendly and fewer prone to blame others on your errors, and also you in the end get nearer to changing into the most effective you will be at what you are doing.

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Eager to win vs. hating to lose

As soon as you’ve got chosen to encourage your self as a substitute of tearing down your rivals, the subsequent query is the best way to do it. Here is a method to consider it that is at all times helped me:

It is not nearly eager to win; it is about hating to lose. In the event you’re something like me, the frustration of shedding is often stronger for you than the enjoyment of successful.

This does not allow you to be a sore loser on these events when it inevitably does occur — you do not wish to damage household sport evening. However making it a precedence to keep away from unfavorable outcomes is usually useful as a result of it makes you extra prone to repair the sorts of issues that individuals may let slide in the event that they’re too centered on their wins.

One in every of FutureFund’s main rivals in the end went out of enterprise as a result of their help crew routinely took weeks to get again to folks. This subject would have been simple to right, however they let it turn into their Achilles heel. Though it may not have felt essential sufficient for them to repair, it turned out to be essential for his or her customers.

So we determined that one in every of our non-negotiables can be to reply help tickets in an affordable period of time — a few hours or much less. That was simple to decide to, but it surely had a profoundly optimistic influence on our success.

Take into consideration this within the context of your startup. Staying aggressive means celebrating your wins, however by no means letting your self be complacent about the place there’s room for enchancment.

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You outline what successful is

Lastly, you want a wholesome strategy to quantify and acknowledge your wins. That may be tough as a result of, in enterprise, it isn’t at all times clear who’s successful. There aren’t any common goalposts that everybody can see.

Here is my rule: competitors is wholesome whenever you determine what success appears like as a substitute of letting others do it. Measure your progress by how far you’ve got are available in relation to the objectives you’ve got set as a substitute of letting your rivals management the narrative and at all times being one step behind them.

Success, for me, is about being a bit of higher than I used to be the day earlier than. Once you’re in a startup, your product will not be good at first — or perhaps ever. However you’re employed to verify it is higher at this time than it was final month — or final week, or yesterday. This manner, you possibly can a minimum of ensure you’re on course.

In the event you’ve chosen your mission rigorously, this sort of progress turns into a a lot better benchmark for fulfillment than what another firm is doing. You may learn extra about that in my subsequent article beneath:

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